


sasha's dice

by led_zephlin



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Internal Monologue, basically i've been thinking abt the dice since the mr ceiling arc and always will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 02:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20166319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/led_zephlin/pseuds/led_zephlin
Summary: Mr. Ceiling: Never play a game with Sasha's red dice, because they cheat.Sasha: [laughs] I knew that you knew! I knew that you knew and that you were letting me win. I knew that





	sasha's dice

They didn't look anything special, the dice. They were an assortment of many-sided prisms Sasha had nicked from a stall in Other London when she was a kid; she'd just grabbed the small leather pouch they were in after hearing the seedy merchant talk about how the dice “could win you any game you played them in” to a passing woman. She’d thought they were magic like the wizards Brock told her stories about, that maybe she could win enough gold to get them out of Other London.

She'd learned they were really just loaded later, an unkind lesson from one of Barrett's many, many lackeys. 

She'd been so disappointed she almost tried to pawn them off on the next gullible idiot she could find. But there was something about the way the crimson blocks gleamed in her palm underneath the dim lights of Other London, the way she could almost pretend they were rubies with numbers etched into them. So she kept them. 

She rolled one of them between her fingers now, in the dim light under Paris, and thought about the way Brock grinned every time she’d brought the dice out. She always had a feeling he knew they were loaded, she could see it in his eyes and the way his crooked, toothy smile would give way to a good-natured laugh.

That machine, Mr. Ceiling, it knew about the dice, and that was when Sasha knew for certain that Brock was gone and uploaded, because no one else knew about that, no one else had ever played with her as much as him, no one else would ever have said “I’ve missed you, Sasha,” and meant it.

And she'd laughed, even as tears pricked the backs of her eyes, because that was so typical of Brock, wasn't it, to pretend for her sake. 

_ “We’ll be able to leave someday, Sasha.” _

_ “It’ll be alright, Sasha.” _

_ “I love you, Sash.” _

Sasha had learned a long time ago how to cry quietly, and she did so now, still fidgeting with the dice in her hands as tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. She’d grieved before, of course, but it felt different now with the loss of the small hope she’d carried for so long in the space between her ribs. Mr. Ceiling’s autopsy seemed to have plucked it out of her and replaced it with the heavy, double-edged relief that came with bad news.

She’d had plenty of weights on her chest before. She could learn how to carry this one too.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment/kudos, please!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [sasha's dice [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20632994) by [Cryke_Audio (Crykea)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crykea/pseuds/Cryke_Audio)


End file.
